stay in school, don't do drugs & don't watch an anime called Boku!

Make me your radio, 

& turn me up when you feel low, 

This melody was meant for you,

So sing along to my stereo.

- Stereo Hearts, Gym Class Heroes

ps u shud click it!!!!

Hi!!! Sorry I haven't blogged in like, a month hahaha.

super wordy btw, just technically really busy with a lot of stuff!

ie: 

• being SC under prob8ion!!!!!
  god i remember the first meeting i woke up l8 hahaha. wanted to take bus to school then figured that i'd probably be assbutts late so i got my dad to send me instead. ended up being late anyway cause i went to buy food at the canteen. walao i ask clarice she sit there tweet sia.
  but n/m they forgave us cause it was our first time but yeah!!!!! second meeting i was there at like 6:55 lmao. 
  it was really interesting and i felt really important and stuff though!!! it was cool.
• homestuck HOMEWORK!!!!!
  i have so much to do everyday it's not even a joke. i can't even go on tumblr as much anymore sighs. i queue stuff on sundays so my blog won't be all stagnant during the week though!
  but anw back to homework. i really, really don't understand mdm wong's teaching. like goddamn i'm not stupid or anything but i really don't get what she's trying to say??? and i collected so many hot cross buns alr cause i really dunno how to deal w maths anymore i'm just giving up.
  except i can't. bcos maths is one of the subjects i need to take the course i want in poly!!!!
  but ye, that's p much it for schoolwork and stuff!
• trainings........................
  ah i have trainings on monday, tuesday, wednesday and friday now fml. it's really tiring though and i hardly have enough time for my schoolwork. i cannot do this!!!!!!! i am so stressed i feel like i want to die, in a literal sense. i just want to die, anyway.
  but goddamn i am so pressured everywhere and i know i sound like a brat saying this and u all will hate me but i can't help it? i really really really h8 being forced to do things and i end up doing the opposite instead just to rebel against you. so. yeah.

•  feelings!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  dear god, please stop making my, and the other conflicted people around me's lives difficult. i know i've sinned a lot, and i don't go to church, but i promise i'll try my best to improve. but please, please, at least help me in this situation a little bit, just give me a gentle nudge to what i should do, where i should go.
  because if this doesn't stop anytime soon, i feel like i am going to end it all my way. i am this close to just breaking down and giving up. i know i'm probably p lucky already, but i don't feel it. so please, just this one time, please help me god.
  o lord, help us to remember you in everything we do today, our lady of assumption, pray for us. st louis marie de montfort, pray for us. in the name of the father, son and the holy spirit.
  amen.
  yeah, hahaha. i really don't feel the need to continue living anymore? i don't see a future for myself etc. but i took 3imz's advice and went to talk to someone about it, in this case ms amanda yew. she was wonderful, though. ( up until the point where she told me that being bi was just a phase lol fuck u )( o k jk i luv u no homo more bromo ) and she advised me a gr8 deal!!!! and it helped, kinda hahaha. sandra was there too and aaaaaaaa she was wonderful and didn't laugh or anything too haha. and i just got so overwhelmed with emotions i wanted to cry but i held it in goddamn.
  anw ms yew told me that people out there probably cared and stuff so!!!!!! i shouldn't kill myself and hahaha. then she posed a question to me; 
  what if bethanie killed herself? how would you feel?
  wow ok first of i would take her dead body and beat her with a dang stick okay u fucker y did u pangseh me nb. but then i would probably cry and get angry again bcos wow rude????? and i dunno how to explain it but ye. so please, please please don't kill yourself, people out there care, i promise. and if you think there's no one, i'll care. let's face it, you probably look like shit ( keeping it real here ) but ur friends luv u and still talk to u so that proves something! so live like there's no tmrw baby. i went to talk to the proper counselor and it was sweet and cool and stuff but i won't elabor8 bcos that shit is priv8!!!!!!!! and i really still haven't posted my mail yet hahahhaha fuck i just really don't have the time ok leave me aLONE. i'm doing it like tomorrow!!!!!!
  
  also wow i am so done with thinking of shitstains giving each other blowjobs in dang florida. 
  yeah i'm saying this here. i don't even cARE IF U READ THIS??? god. 
  i'm just really jealous and i love you okay. giod sldkfjs leave me alone w my feelings ( or u can join me )
  
  andddd yeah, that's p much it i guess??? oh yeah i cut my hair!!!!
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  hahahahaha yeah, okay. bye!!!!!!! wish me luck for the whole of next week. luv u all <3
  
  

  [10:10:42] AG: I'm not that much of an evil person. 

  [10:10:51] AG: To just forget a8out some8ody. 

  [10:10:56] AG: Especially you.